peka relish

Last night at my suga daddy's house was poyhaps da most humiliatin' night eva.  Afta my finishin my gig as a nude model fowa one of his depraved homo pa'ties, my suga daddy--clay boytrand offered my ass some salami with "peppa" relish.  well his ass got all excited.  in a high pitched oygasmic squeal he axed my ass how much of da salami dat i wanted.  my ass loves salami so i says da whole fuckin' ting.  

boy he showa wuz arouzed, i could even see dat he had a woody.  does he tink i'm gonna do something fowa his ass?  i aint' no homo, da fool!!  

So anyways, he cut up da salami den he set it on a plate.  so i said "wheres da peppa relish"?  wit a giant grin on his face, he gleefully and in a high pitch ansa'd, "I though you would never ask!"

Den dat bastid wipt out his rock-ha'd cock, stuck it in a ja' of peppa relish, and stoyed it quite thoyoyly and slapped his relish cock on my salami.  Da bastid even said, "Here it is, pecker relish!"  He tricked my ass.  I told his ass, dat I wasn't gonna eat it.  

Just when I was ready to take his ass out, he motioned his black soyvent Smedley to help him.  I have to say for a 79 year old man, he showa is tuff.  Despite my best efforts, Smedley laid a tremendous beatin' on my ass.  He den proped my ass up, and Mista Boytrand said "Are you going to eat this scrumptiuos dinner"?  I said hell no.  

Boytrand became pissed.  He pinched my nipples, twisted dem den snapped his fingas.   AHHHH!!!!!   I yelled, "Alright!  I'll eat da pecka relish!"  Den as he was bringin da plate ova to my ass, Boytrand dropped a salami slice on da flowa.  He reached to pick it up.  As he was coming up he grabed my nuts, twisted dem, den snapped his fingas.  AHHHHH!!!! DA BASTID!!!

Well, needless to say I ate a healthy dose of da salami (actually all of it) wit an extra helpin of da pecka relish.  On the whole, da salami did not taste too bad.... just a few hairs and a weird bleach smell.  

Da next day, as I was gettin ready to retoyn to da asylum from my weekend foylough I saw Clay speakin to a clean-shavin man in a very expensive lookin' suit.  Da bastid was also woyin' sunglasses.  I ova hoyd da stranga say, "That was a pretty good show you put on last night, dude.  See you at the next anti-Castro convention, jack."  I wonda who dat guy was.  

I wish my foyma masta, da Liberal Librarian was here.  He would neva let my ass be humilated.  Until den, as long as I'm at Boytrand's mansion, I'll go out fowa a snack.