Kelly da froot

Kelly Millis got caught jacking off in his cell again today. I realize even queens have needs, but this motherfucker chokes the chicken about 5 times a day. First off Kelly has priors in Libtown for whipping his dick out whenever my ass comes by his cell. At first I thought it funny, but then I got to thinking that maybe that Fruit has some kind of mental problem. I've always been under the assumption that women could see a dick and be like "Oh, whatever." Men on the other hand are just the opposite. All I have to see is a hint of some titties and I'm ready to go. Shit, just the other day I jacked off to a picture of da Utz goyrul. Why?... Because she had a little cleavage action going on. Da Revrend Coitis and I were the only ones watching TV this morning (music videos) when this beautiful girl in a bikini graces the screen. Da Revrund Coitis is like, "Damn, that bitch is bad!" I definitely had to agree with him. And then he said, "Yo, Fanooki don't turn the TV. I'll be right back. I'm about to go fuck that bitch." This nigga saw a bitch for 15 seconds and now he's going to jack off to her. That's crazy, but that's Coitis.

The Fruits in Libtown that have priors for too much jacking, or saying anything sexual to Da Toid are required to wear a red card around their necks. Needless to say, Kelly has one of these cards. The story goes that Kelly the Fruit was caught masturbating by Da Toid so much that not only does he have to wear the red card, but he is also not allowed to place his hands in his pockets around either.

Now I've seen Kelly Da Fruit do some freaky shit. For example, sniffing the chair dat Retro has recently occupied. Licking the lipstick stained coffee cup of Shitifa has just thrown away, and the list goes on. But nothing tops the story dat Da Masta told my ass about Kelly. Apparently, Kelly had a huge crush on Billy Bell who worked in the kitchen of the chow hall. Kelly was a kitchen worker and had been caught several times by Billy stroking the "Limp Pasta". One morning Bobby Bell had all the kitchen workers seated. He was reading to them some new rules regarding the handling of knives. For obvious reasons Da Bells tended to avoid direct eye contact with Kelly. Kelly da Fruit played it cool and listened attentively, but something kept distracting Bobby Bell. It was Da Fruit. Kelly was tapping his right foot up and down, as if he was listening to a B.B. King song. This must have annoyed his ass, because Billy motioned for Da Lummox to come in. He said something to da Lummox and he asked Kelly to come with him. Da Lummox frisked Kelly and then asked him to remove his shoes. They found nothing. That is until they stripped searched him. What they found is something so funny that I can barely write this without laughing my ass off. Kelly da Fruit had tied a piece of dental floss around the big toe of his right foot and ran it up his leg where he tied it off on his string dick. His dick!! Only a crazy person would think of some shit like that. Kelly Millis is the only person I have ever heard of that found a way to jack his dick off with his foot.