Saturday, January 31, 2009
woym air in my mouth- but at least my Steelas are Woyld Champeens!
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Tuesday, January 6, 2009
peka relish
Last night at my suga daddy's house was poyhaps da most humiliatin' night eva. Afta my finishin my gig as a nude model fowa one of his depraved homo pa'ties, my suga daddy--clay boytrand offered my ass some salami with "peppa" relish. well his ass got all excited. in a high pitched oygasmic squeal he axed my ass how much of da salami dat i wanted. my ass loves salami so i says da whole fuckin' ting.
boy he showa wuz arouzed, i could even see dat he had a woody. does he tink i'm gonna do something fowa his ass? i aint' no homo, da fool!!
So anyways, he cut up da salami den he set it on a plate. so i said "wheres da peppa relish"? wit a giant grin on his face, he gleefully and in a high pitch ansa'd, "I though you would never ask!"
Den dat bastid wipt out his rock-ha'd cock, stuck it in a ja' of peppa relish, and stoyed it quite thoyoyly and slapped his relish cock on my salami. Da bastid even said, "Here it is, pecker relish!" He tricked my ass. I told his ass, dat I wasn't gonna eat it.
Just when I was ready to take his ass out, he motioned his black soyvent Smedley to help him. I have to say for a 79 year old man, he showa is tuff. Despite my best efforts, Smedley laid a tremendous beatin' on my ass. He den proped my ass up, and Mista Boytrand said "Are you going to eat this scrumptiuos dinner"? I said hell no.
Boytrand became pissed. He pinched my nipples, twisted dem den snapped his fingas. AHHHH!!!!! I yelled, "Alright! I'll eat da pecka relish!" Den as he was bringin da plate ova to my ass, Boytrand dropped a salami slice on da flowa. He reached to pick it up. As he was coming up he grabed my nuts, twisted dem, den snapped his fingas. AHHHHH!!!! DA BASTID!!!
Well, needless to say I ate a healthy dose of da salami (actually all of it) wit an extra helpin of da pecka relish. On the whole, da salami did not taste too bad.... just a few hairs and a weird bleach smell.
Da next day, as I was gettin ready to retoyn to da asylum from my weekend foylough I saw Clay speakin to a clean-shavin man in a very expensive lookin' suit. Da bastid was also woyin' sunglasses. I ova hoyd da stranga say, "That was a pretty good show you put on last night, dude. See you at the next anti-Castro convention, jack." I wonda who dat guy was.
I wish my foyma masta, da Liberal Librarian was here. He would neva let my ass be humilated. Until den, as long as I'm at Boytrand's mansion, I'll go out fowa a snack.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Da Woes of Jackin'
da most humiliatin ting happent to my ass da otha da at da insane asylum. da day was Decemba da foyth and I was bein kept after re-education school. da 65 year old secoyity gad Mrs Landreth would walk to check on da nuts in da coytyad who was rubbin shit in dere hair. It was rainin really hard and when she got back to escoyt my ass back to my padded cell she was soakin wet. I was hidin In da closet and den she started to take her dress off, she was wearin a platex rubba goydle, depends unda gaments and nylons dat made hoy legs and all da spida veins look very sexy and believe It or not she was wearin black rubbas on hoy shoes.
I really started to get an erection and started to poyfoym da toyk an twist on my weina. I was so toyned on dat before I knew It, she walked In on me while I was shootin my load. She was really mad and told me she was goin to give my ass a real good beatin. dat Is da way it is in prison, you would get a beatin If you looked at at bitch da wrong way. what's woyse, yowa asshole could be a pussy, like da Rev. Dockta Coits Lowe. And dat's what happent to my ass. Mrs. Landreth took da strap-on covered in molasses to my ass. Den gave my asshole a good poundin. Afta da rapin, I began jackin foyiously at da tawt of da sheer humiliatin. foytunately fowa my ass, dat was da foyst time I was caught masterbatin, eva!!
Unfoytunately fowa my ass, da next day, I was caught masterbatin when I was In da batroom shittin on da john when I noticed my suga daddy, Clay Boytrand had left his rubba goydle hangin on da bathtub rail and all of a sudden I started to get an erection, I den took his rubba goydle and put It on myself. I was standin dere wit a real big erection when Clay Boytrand walked In on my ass and caught me puttin da sleepa hold on 'little nooch'. I had neva seen Clay Boytrand so mad, he started yellin at my ass and told my ass I was goin to get a good spankin. He den kicked my ass in da nuts. Den he pinched my nuts, twisted dem, den he snapped his fingas. Da Bastid!!! den he stated beatin my ass wit a whip. all of a sudden I stated to get a big erection den I spooged all ova my ass. After Clay finished washin da spoym from his leg, he got his strap-on (covered in sand) and gave my ass a beatin dat I will never forget. I ejaculate fowa mowa times.
Now as i write dis, i am sittin a stachy padded cell da smells of ammonia, covad in stachy undawea and a stachy shoyt, wit my skin stachy from head to toe. As punishment da gads said de will put itchin powda on my weina and me in a straight jacket, so I can roll around da padded cell in tryin to scratch my weina. I wish I neva took dat job as a county planna, boy dats where all da humiliation began.
I really started to get an erection and started to poyfoym da toyk an twist on my weina. I was so toyned on dat before I knew It, she walked In on me while I was shootin my load. She was really mad and told me she was goin to give my ass a real good beatin. dat Is da way it is in prison, you would get a beatin If you looked at at bitch da wrong way. what's woyse, yowa asshole could be a pussy, like da Rev. Dockta Coits Lowe. And dat's what happent to my ass. Mrs. Landreth took da strap-on covered in molasses to my ass. Den gave my asshole a good poundin. Afta da rapin, I began jackin foyiously at da tawt of da sheer humiliatin. foytunately fowa my ass, dat was da foyst time I was caught masterbatin, eva!!
Unfoytunately fowa my ass, da next day, I was caught masterbatin when I was In da batroom shittin on da john when I noticed my suga daddy, Clay Boytrand had left his rubba goydle hangin on da bathtub rail and all of a sudden I started to get an erection, I den took his rubba goydle and put It on myself. I was standin dere wit a real big erection when Clay Boytrand walked In on my ass and caught me puttin da sleepa hold on 'little nooch'. I had neva seen Clay Boytrand so mad, he started yellin at my ass and told my ass I was goin to get a good spankin. He den kicked my ass in da nuts. Den he pinched my nuts, twisted dem, den he snapped his fingas. Da Bastid!!! den he stated beatin my ass wit a whip. all of a sudden I stated to get a big erection den I spooged all ova my ass. After Clay finished washin da spoym from his leg, he got his strap-on (covered in sand) and gave my ass a beatin dat I will never forget. I ejaculate fowa mowa times.
Now as i write dis, i am sittin a stachy padded cell da smells of ammonia, covad in stachy undawea and a stachy shoyt, wit my skin stachy from head to toe. As punishment da gads said de will put itchin powda on my weina and me in a straight jacket, so I can roll around da padded cell in tryin to scratch my weina. I wish I neva took dat job as a county planna, boy dats where all da humiliation began.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Tanksgivin Confusion
Tanksgivin Day with my pal Clay Boytrand at da asylum went surprisingly well. Da last time I ate wit somebody, I got my tit shot and moidad. Da bastid dough showa liked to humiliate my ass. He kept making snide remarks about my fat rolls and my moidad tit.
So afta humiliatin my ass about my tit, we ate dinna with a negro soyvant named Smedley. Boy is dat what years of humiliation can do to yowa ass? What a froot!!
Clay loved da pan-seared oven-roasted salami. YUM. Afta dinner we went upstairs to hide da salami. Den Clay said he had to tell me sometin. He said he had to leave at 9:00. I was a little pissed because I spent a lot of time cookin foy his ass and I tawt we agreed he was coming over and possibly staying da night wit my ass. Clay said he had to meet wit a friend who was in trouble. I let it go at dat.
Since it was still oyly afta da Tanksgivin, I left da asylum on holiday-foylow, I decided to go out to da Blue Oysta Bar across da street. Der was one horwa in da whole bar. A cute Polish horwa, Etmiass, age 30, came up to me and said I was very handsome. She had a face full of stubble. So we went back to my shack in da asylum.
By this time we were on da second bottle of wine, da red one. Etmiass woyned me dat red wine makes hoy sleepy. As we were eatin pizza I received a text messages. It was from my forma ovaseea, Da Toid, who I tawt was dead. Evidently, he sent my ass a message from Hell. Da Toid wanted to know what I was doing. I replied, “I'm on a hot date with Etmiass!” After I sent da text, Da Toid woyned me dat Etmiass was a man. I was so humiliated and confused. I had tawt dat dis was da foyst time I ate ass from a thin girl, and den I see dis.
Now here's where it gets really confusing. After da movie we watched a re-run of Liberal Morning wit da Liberal Librarian. I took a restroom break and when I came back Etmiass was lying on da futon. She… He motioned for me to lie down beside it. Dere was a lot of touching and rubbing, and befooy long jeans were unzipped and moy touching followed. I asked if it wanted to go to da bedroom for sex and it said, “I don't want to on da first date.”
I tawt, “What in da hell just happened here?!! I tawt dis wasn't a date!!!” Why I oughtaa…
Can you see why my ass is confused?
So afta humiliatin my ass about my tit, we ate dinna with a negro soyvant named Smedley. Boy is dat what years of humiliation can do to yowa ass? What a froot!!
Clay loved da pan-seared oven-roasted salami. YUM. Afta dinner we went upstairs to hide da salami. Den Clay said he had to tell me sometin. He said he had to leave at 9:00. I was a little pissed because I spent a lot of time cookin foy his ass and I tawt we agreed he was coming over and possibly staying da night wit my ass. Clay said he had to meet wit a friend who was in trouble. I let it go at dat.
Since it was still oyly afta da Tanksgivin, I left da asylum on holiday-foylow, I decided to go out to da Blue Oysta Bar across da street. Der was one horwa in da whole bar. A cute Polish horwa, Etmiass, age 30, came up to me and said I was very handsome. She had a face full of stubble. So we went back to my shack in da asylum.
By this time we were on da second bottle of wine, da red one. Etmiass woyned me dat red wine makes hoy sleepy. As we were eatin pizza I received a text messages. It was from my forma ovaseea, Da Toid, who I tawt was dead. Evidently, he sent my ass a message from Hell. Da Toid wanted to know what I was doing. I replied, “I'm on a hot date with Etmiass!” After I sent da text, Da Toid woyned me dat Etmiass was a man. I was so humiliated and confused. I had tawt dat dis was da foyst time I ate ass from a thin girl, and den I see dis.
Now here's where it gets really confusing. After da movie we watched a re-run of Liberal Morning wit da Liberal Librarian. I took a restroom break and when I came back Etmiass was lying on da futon. She… He motioned for me to lie down beside it. Dere was a lot of touching and rubbing, and befooy long jeans were unzipped and moy touching followed. I asked if it wanted to go to da bedroom for sex and it said, “I don't want to on da first date.”
I tawt, “What in da hell just happened here?!! I tawt dis wasn't a date!!!” Why I oughtaa…
Can you see why my ass is confused?
Monday, November 10, 2008
Jackin' 101
If you're like my ass and you love to mastabate, dere are certain tings you can do to prevent udda people from catchin you right in da heat of da moment--when you are about to launch your load. I have been mastabatin fowa years and I haven't oncet been caught--except by my ma, my sis, my half-brotha, my reverend, my masta, and his ova-see-a. Here is a few tips I suggest.
1. Don't mastabate if da dowa is unlocked.
dat one is so easy to rememba, you don't want your ma catching your ass masturbatin to a bag of Utz potato chips. unfoytunately dis seems to happen every couple of days.
2. Never cum in your clothes or bed or aim fowa your own face
Never and I mean never cum all over yourself wid your cloths on or off, last ting you need is to be foyced by your masta to walk out in front of da guys covered in your own spooge smelling of bleach and wearin' a starchy shoyt.
3. Always jack-off in a sock--or betta yet on a rag.
It really helps to save da environment if you use da sock or rag--I recommend using da same one fowa at least six or seven months befoy da next wash. It stinks and toyns yella, but it's betta on da environment.
4. Never make any strange noises while mastabating.
You want to avoid da "oohs and ahhs," your family may hear dem. unfoytunately fowa my ass, I just fart a lot when I jack off, and I usually shit when I cum, so everybody knows when I have been strokin' "little noochi"
5. Never be in your room for too long and its too quiet.
Your ma or your masta might suspect your jackin' if dey cant hear anything coming from your room.
6. When watching unapproved porno, lowa da volume and turn up da radio.
my masta loves porn and orders everyone to watch it--unfoyunately fowa my ass, he only wants us to watch da interracial ass-rape gay porn. boy being foyced to wach dis showa is humiliatin... especially when dere is a guy beside you in a toid costume poundin away on his dookie stick
7. Always clean up da evidence
Never leave a mess in your room. clean up any goo, piss, shit or vaseline dat may be on da flowa.
8.After masturbating, go straight to da restroom and wash up.
Take a bath or something you might smell like tuna or bleach, dough dis would be an improvement ova how i smell afta eatin' shitifa's ass.
9. Never leave porno, or used condoms or socks anywhere in your room.
Always hide anything that may get you into trouble, dough usually da Toid leaves his used kleenex's in my hammock all da fuckin' time.
10. i hope dis helps yowa ass in da arts of jackin'. unfoytunately dis is probably all i'll eva do, since it looks like amelia may not be interested in my ass.
1. Don't mastabate if da dowa is unlocked.
dat one is so easy to rememba, you don't want your ma catching your ass masturbatin to a bag of Utz potato chips. unfoytunately dis seems to happen every couple of days.
2. Never cum in your clothes or bed or aim fowa your own face
Never and I mean never cum all over yourself wid your cloths on or off, last ting you need is to be foyced by your masta to walk out in front of da guys covered in your own spooge smelling of bleach and wearin' a starchy shoyt.
3. Always jack-off in a sock--or betta yet on a rag.
It really helps to save da environment if you use da sock or rag--I recommend using da same one fowa at least six or seven months befoy da next wash. It stinks and toyns yella, but it's betta on da environment.
4. Never make any strange noises while mastabating.
You want to avoid da "oohs and ahhs," your family may hear dem. unfoytunately fowa my ass, I just fart a lot when I jack off, and I usually shit when I cum, so everybody knows when I have been strokin' "little noochi"
5. Never be in your room for too long and its too quiet.
Your ma or your masta might suspect your jackin' if dey cant hear anything coming from your room.
6. When watching unapproved porno, lowa da volume and turn up da radio.
my masta loves porn and orders everyone to watch it--unfoyunately fowa my ass, he only wants us to watch da interracial ass-rape gay porn. boy being foyced to wach dis showa is humiliatin... especially when dere is a guy beside you in a toid costume poundin away on his dookie stick
7. Always clean up da evidence
Never leave a mess in your room. clean up any goo, piss, shit or vaseline dat may be on da flowa.
8.After masturbating, go straight to da restroom and wash up.
Take a bath or something you might smell like tuna or bleach, dough dis would be an improvement ova how i smell afta eatin' shitifa's ass.
9. Never leave porno, or used condoms or socks anywhere in your room.
Always hide anything that may get you into trouble, dough usually da Toid leaves his used kleenex's in my hammock all da fuckin' time.
10. i hope dis helps yowa ass in da arts of jackin'. unfoytunately dis is probably all i'll eva do, since it looks like amelia may not be interested in my ass.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
New songs
I am very proud of dis song. da toid even likes it. da toid makes me sing dis song to him and my sis while dey are makin' love! Da noive!!!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Strap-ons is sellin' high!
Strap-ons is sellin' high!
Fifty cents if it's gooey
Sixty if it's dry!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Strap-ons is sellin' low!
Strap-ons is sellin' low!
7 cents per strap-on
it ain't no used to go!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Liberal town has all sorts of treats
I love mashed potatas
bake 'em in da sand
fry my ass some pepperoni and salami in da pan
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Da best ting I eva did
was to lose some fat!
Da woyst ting I eva did
was eat out Shitifa's nasty Cat
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Da following song is an ode to my ma, Pamela Fanuci.
Oh, mama liked the niggas
She screwed them in the yard
But Winter always came around and made the ground way too hard
Oh, mama liked the niggas and when she had the time
She'd decorate the living room, for all us kids to see
When I hear the Sunday bells ringing in the morning
I remember crying when she used to sing
Oh, mama liked the niggas but most of all she cared
About the way we learned to live
And if we said our prayers to da Rev. Coitis
You know I kept the family Bible
With a picture of a nigga that she saved inside
It was pressed between the pages
Like it had found a place to hide
Oh, mama liked the niggas in such a special way
We bring her a big black dildo every Mother's Day
And she puts them in her cave
Oh, mama liked the niggas Mmmm
Mama liked the niggas
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Strap-ons is sellin' high!
Strap-ons is sellin' high!
Fifty cents if it's gooey
Sixty if it's dry!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Strap-ons is sellin' low!
Strap-ons is sellin' low!
7 cents per strap-on
it ain't no used to go!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Liberal town has all sorts of treats
I love mashed potatas
bake 'em in da sand
fry my ass some pepperoni and salami in da pan
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Da best ting I eva did
was to lose some fat!
Da woyst ting I eva did
was eat out Shitifa's nasty Cat
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!
Da following song is an ode to my ma, Pamela Fanuci.
Oh, mama liked the niggas
She screwed them in the yard
But Winter always came around and made the ground way too hard
Oh, mama liked the niggas and when she had the time
She'd decorate the living room, for all us kids to see
When I hear the Sunday bells ringing in the morning
I remember crying when she used to sing
Oh, mama liked the niggas but most of all she cared
About the way we learned to live
And if we said our prayers to da Rev. Coitis
You know I kept the family Bible
With a picture of a nigga that she saved inside
It was pressed between the pages
Like it had found a place to hide
Oh, mama liked the niggas in such a special way
We bring her a big black dildo every Mother's Day
And she puts them in her cave
Oh, mama liked the niggas Mmmm
Mama liked the niggas
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
sexual poyvoyzhun
I have been enslaved to my masta, da Liberal Librarian fowa two years and he and his fuckin minions has dominated my ass from day one. I was and still am a voygin when I met my masta. I didn't know anyting about sex till I was foyced to perfoym "sweet-ass music" on da negress Shitifa.
Da foyst time I was foyced to eat her shit-cavity I had a butt-plug in my ass. She fucked me with a strap-on dildo on owa second date. I rememba telling her ass da next day dat my asshole is sowa and she said "shut da fuck up, you be a'ight." She told me it was noymal to be fucked in the ass wit a dildo and she insisted on fucking my ass every so often.
My masta, da Liberal Librarian caught me mastabatin' one time (or actually several times dis last week) and from dat day on I was to be in da nude in my shack and I am foyced to wear six-inch heels and fishnet stockings while poyfoyming da housewoyk and other choyes. I am also butt-plugged at all times so I can accommodate Shitifa's 10-inch strap-on fetish when she feels like fucking my asshole.
I am allowed to jack-off only on da Toid's coymmand and den he must supervise it. Howeva, I always tink of da lovely Amelia--my futcha wife once I can successfully kidnap her ass again. Tinking of Amelia keeps me in a constant state of arousal troo her sexual denial.
Da otha day, Shitifa got carried away and made my ass bleed she was ramming my ass so hard. Boy I showa am a fatass whorwa.
Da foyst time I was foyced to eat her shit-cavity I had a butt-plug in my ass. She fucked me with a strap-on dildo on owa second date. I rememba telling her ass da next day dat my asshole is sowa and she said "shut da fuck up, you be a'ight." She told me it was noymal to be fucked in the ass wit a dildo and she insisted on fucking my ass every so often.
My masta, da Liberal Librarian caught me mastabatin' one time (or actually several times dis last week) and from dat day on I was to be in da nude in my shack and I am foyced to wear six-inch heels and fishnet stockings while poyfoyming da housewoyk and other choyes. I am also butt-plugged at all times so I can accommodate Shitifa's 10-inch strap-on fetish when she feels like fucking my asshole.
I am allowed to jack-off only on da Toid's coymmand and den he must supervise it. Howeva, I always tink of da lovely Amelia--my futcha wife once I can successfully kidnap her ass again. Tinking of Amelia keeps me in a constant state of arousal troo her sexual denial.
Da otha day, Shitifa got carried away and made my ass bleed she was ramming my ass so hard. Boy I showa am a fatass whorwa.
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