A Typical Day in Braddock

Ahhhh....Braddock, Texas. It has often been toymed a paradise on oyth. However for my ass, it has toined out to be a hell for me. A typical tough guy who wants to be a great rassler. Instead I am always the butt-end of the joke. I'm such a fool......

Though I am one of the greatest Heavyweights of all time, as the WNWA Women's Champion, most days I have the woist time eva. How ironic, a great champion not enjoying da froits of his greatness. Like today for instance. At around 4:00 I was sitting all alone on da sidewalk in my tight wife-beater's shoit at Kemellia Ave, waiting for my Masta to leave woik oily (like he does evoiyday, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck) so I can soiv his every whim, when this poivoit, covered with bandages like da Mummy came towoids me. That bastid pulled my hair, ripped off my shoit, and kicked me in the nuts. While I was temporarily blinded, I felt something soft, hairy, and sweaty rubbed on my forehead. Then, he ran into the library.

I was completely numb. I didn't even realise what happened to my ass. But the woist was yet to come. I went into the library to talk to the secoity gahds. After some time as I was giving an interview the Mummy reappeared, took out his private parts, peed on me and ran away. He was caught by the library secoity gahds but set free after the mummy slipped the gads a few simoleons.

I tried to forget it as a nightmare but to my amazement the guy showed up, again to toiment my ass. This occoid after I came back out of the library after a few hours of questioning. The Master had already left my ass at that dangerous section of town alone... the noive.... But again, this poivoited mummy came out of nowhere, undid his bandages and rubbed his privates against me. But now the security guards came out, shook his hand and took him to dinna. All the while those fools were laughing at my ass. I was so humiliated! Getting molested by a mummy is very traumatic. It’s good entertainment for all the bums that stand around, but only I know the humiliation and utter degradation I had to face. I think next time, I will take Letravis Gorman with my ass to keep the poivoits away.

The weid thing about the day was the end. After I got back to the Brown View Apatments, I saw a bunch of Ace Bandage wrappings, minus the bandages in the Toid's room. The noive of that guy... does he think that because I am the Women's Champion that I should be treated like a woman? Come to think of it, one of the gahds looked like da Crunk's ass. Why I oughtaaa.....At least this gives me ideas of what I should do to the lovely Amelia doying our match at the Masta's extravaganza, Libapalooza.