Golfin' humiliation

Hey Noochi fans!! Y'all are never going to believe what happened to my ass today. Da Toid and I went to da Braddock golf toynament and no sooner dan we walked into da toynament, I got run over by Letravis Goyman in a golf cart. It was one of those dump-cart golf carts going about 30 mph. I flipped over the cart and ended up face-first in a nice pile of duck crap.

I never saw dat tard coming. And apparently he never saw my ass. He was coming off of a side road, drivin' wit his left hand and jackin' wit his right and bastid didn't stop--even afta he hit my ass. I may have a broken left wrist (typing one-handed right now--though I'm typing wit one hand not because da uta is hoyt but because my udda hand is massagin little Noochi). Nonetheless I have to go for xrays tomorrow. Da chair of the tournament, Judge Jennings came and saw me and gave da Toid a luxury box pass to the 17th hole--he had udda plans for my ass. I waited on the GBLT crowd hand and foot. I was foiced to give dem free beer, food all day, lap dances--and my phone numba. Full VIP treatment.

When dat tard Letravis hit my ass I got up wanting to fight. I was mad as hell. When I realized dat I haven't won a wrestling match in 4 or so years, I had to put da brakes on it. Dat was da ha'dest part, I could have done something really stupid and had to eat jelly--prizum style.

Anus mucus

Let's face it: the ass stinks. Especially if you have taken a shit earlier in the day and forget to wipe the ass mucus off. I don't even care if you have wiped your sorwa hemoroid clit a thousand times (like me). You will NEVER get all the shit off. Every time I sit down, I get whiffs of my stinky, oozy ass. To add insult to injury, dat shit odor sticks to my back ass. Now I gotta smell my ass when I'm at da restaurant making piza wit my shoyt off. Gross! When dat happens, I get so mad and so aroused I absolutely HAVE to torque and twist before going to bed.

In the evening, just about everyone in the fuckin' restaurant has taken a shit (or three). That stink stays dere all fuckin' day simmering in your slimy crack, on your hands, in your food.

In addition to ass odor, there is regular B.O. which also builds up during the day - with or without hair. Though I usually don't notice that because the smell of rotten chedda ass cheese drowns it out. You know what I'm talking about... you mothas!!!!

Nipple toycha

Forwa da last tree days my nipples have been constantly erect and sensitive. It's mainly because of dat fuckin' monkey, Mud. He pinches my nipples, twist dem, den snaps his fuckin' fingas. AHHHHH!!!!! Da bastid!!! My nips hoyt some if I thump dem or touch dem but dey hoyt da most when Mud foices my ass to put a lacey bra on at night. Ever since, my tits have been sorwa and oozin blood. Dey have been erect also, so much so dat you can see dem troo my sta'chy shoyts at times which is very unusual for my ass since my nipples are neva ha'd unless I'm touchin dem when I jack tinkin' about Amelia's ass. What is going on wit my ass? (And I'm not constipated considering my suga daddy Clay Boytrand and my room-mate, da Toid foices my ass to eat ex-lax every fuckin' day--which leaves gooey brown streaks in my stained drawers.

hemorrhoid clit

Boy, Shitifa showa humiliated my ass dis morning. I told her ass about da dream I had about Amelia, where I got to moida hoy tits. Shitifa was pissed. Dat horwa asked why my ass was fantasizing about dat "skinny, honky bitch". Shitifa pointed out dat Amelia hates my ass (until I convince amelia to marry my ass) and dat Shitifa lets me eat out hoy chedda cheese smellin' ass.

I den instinctively said "yuck". This provoked Shitifa, dat slut reached beneath my trousa's and unda my gut den grabbed a tuft of pubes poyched above my cock. She jerked it hard enough to pull a handful of hair out while she pinched my nipples and snapped hoy fingas. AHHHHHH!!!!!

Den she tripped my ass where I landed on my gut. As I lay dere, she pulled down my pants to my ankles. Den da slut began flicking hoy middle finga at my asshole clit as I screamed "my clit, my fuckin' clit...." Ova and ova again Shitifa thumped my shit-clit. Soon all da guys showed up to watch da spectacle. Da humiliation led to a soyging swell of an impending climax which caused my ass to sweat profusely.

Suddenly my ass couldn't breathe. I panicked and thrashed, but still I couldn't breathe. Den she picked slapped my ass clit wit hoy black dildo, den da soyge of a humiliating oygazm came. Dat bastid Letravis Goyman was so aroused, he stat'ed humping Mud, who was pounding his weina wit da bra he makes my ass wear. Da soyge was so strong I crapped all ova da place den passed out in a puddle of my own piss and shit.

Now I an foyced to relive dis humiliation tonight at da Lib's anti-republican fund-raisa, since dis most recent bout of anal humiliation was filmed by da Toid and posted it on da Demorat Pa'ties official website. Why I oughtaaaa.....

Da Devil went to Braddock

Da devil went down to Braddock, his ass was lookin' for a Hoyshey hole to fuck.
He was in a bind 'cause he liked men's behinds: he was willin' to try his luck.

When he came across dis lard-ass jackin' on his little weina' tot.
And da devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Hey fat-ass let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a jacker too.
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet wit you.
"Now you jack your tiny cock pretty good, fat boy, but give da devil his due:
"I bet a dildo of gold against your hole, 'cause I think I'll cum quicka' dan you."

The fat ass said: "My name's Tony and jackin' might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cause I'm da fastest jack dat's ever been."

Tony you greasin up your cock and jack like a reta'd.
'Cawse hells broke loose in Braddock and da devil jacks it ha'd.
And if you win you get dis sticky dildo made of gold.
But if you lose, the devil rapes your asshole.

Da devil opened up his vaseline and he said: "I'll start dis show."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he lathered up his cockbow.
And he pulled his cock across his balls and it made an evil hiss.
Den a band of demons sta'ted jackin' and it sounded sum'tin like dis.

When da devil finished, Tony said: "Well you're pretty quick ol' son.
"But if you'll recover in dat chair, right dere, and let my ass show you how it's done."

Fire on the mountain, run boys, run.
Da devil's strokin' in da house of da risin' sun.
Jackin' in da bread pin, spurtin' out goo.
Moanin' like a crack whore screaming, "ooo, ooo, ooo."

Da devil bowed his head because he knew dat he been beat.
He laid dat sticky, golden dildo on da ground at Tony's obese feet.
Tony said: "Devil just come on back if you ever wanna jack again.
"I told you once, you motha, I'm da quickest jack dat's ever been."

Fire on the mountain, run boys, run.
Da devil's strokin' in da house of da risin' sun.
Jackin' in da bread pin, spurtin' out goo.
Moanin' like a crack whore screaming, "ooo, ooo, ooo."

why i oughtaaaa......

My masta, Clay Boytrand said this to my ass da udda day? What the fuck does it mean?

"Smedley says that while your already sucking & cupping my balls, lick the taint too. I agree that you might as well. If you flick your tongue on the taint while stroking the shaft (after you lubed it up of course) sploosh! Catch it in your mouth for tasty surprise!! :-)"

Well, at least my ass is no longa' a voygin...

Now dat my ass is foyty tree, I looked back ova my life. I realized I was very shy and to dis day hadn't had any sexual experiences except wit my hand, Kelly da Fruit’s silky coytans, or eatin' out dat whore Shitifa's cheddar cheese smellin ass. Da only way I can get my rocks off, is I have to get away from my masta and savya's woyshipas who severely tortured my ass whenever I am caught jackin'--which is quite often. I had dis one place where I can go to peep on one of my ma’s old friends while I rub little Noochi wit da "flintlock" maneuver.

Da udda night, I was peepin on dat old broad. Da lot next to her shack was undeveloped and afforded me the ability to spy on hoy ass without woyey. I had spied on her ass several times, seeing everyting from da old bag undressing out of hoy goydle and cleanin' out her adult diapas, to some pretty exciting sexual tings wit some black men.

As I was standin on da air conditioner watchin her old ass disrobe, she bent down facin' hoy closet, giving me a perfect shot of hoy wrinkled puss. I failed to see dat da Crunk had slipped out of da room and had come around da coyna of da house, catchin my ass peeping while I was jackin'. I jumped down (wit my skid-marked pants around my ankles) and tried to act like I was lookin for my fake vagina and dat I was practicin' karate, but his ass wasn't buyin' it.

Da Crunk took my ass into the house (wit my pants still around my ankles) and said, "Ho, look at dis fat honky fuck I found outside our bedroom window." Dey sta'ted talkin about callin' da Toid on my ass. I was freaking out. Den, da old broad asked my ass if I tawt she was pretty. I told her I tawt she was very beautiful. She den dropped her nightgown and diapa to da flowa and asked me if I tawt her ass was sexy. I tink da rise in da flab around my cock was answa enough, but I told her "Oh, yes." Den she asked my ass if I tawt it would be better to touch her dan to just look at her ass troo da window. I was really scared, but I told her ass dat, yes, it would be much nicer.

She foiced my ass to wear a blindfold. Den, she told my ass to come and feel her fuckin' tits. Dis was the first real breast I had ever laid my hand on. Doz tits felt much smalla dan dey looked and ratha' boney. At da same time, she reached over and began rubbin' my cock. Toyns out, she and da Crunk was into some kinky shit. Dey taught me everyting about sex a person could imagine.

At last, afta 20 seconds of some ha'd poundin'--doggy style--I was not a voygin. But unfoytunately fowa my ass, my bliss was soon toyned into utta and complete humiliation. When I took da blindfold off, what I witnessed in da bed where I popped my cherry was Kelly "Da Fruit" Millis. He was totally nude and smokin' a fuckin' cigarette. On top of dat shit, I saw all my fuckin' pals (includin' dat old bag) standin' around wit video cameras laughin' at my ass. Da fuckin Toid played dat goddamn trumpet.

I yelled out real loud. You fuckin' assholes, you toyned my ass into a fag. I den challenged da Toid to a match. Afta my Loyd and Savya, da Liberal Libarian descend from his golden throne and allowed da match to ensue, da Toid began givin' my ass a severe beatin'.

As I was standing punch drunk on my feet, da Toid shoved da trumpet in my ass, den pushed my ass down where I landed on my fuckin' gut. Da gas dat came out of my ass made da most humiliatin' sound to ever come out of dat goddamn trumpet--da Toid was declared da winna, den everyting went black.

When I awoke da next day from my tremendous beatin' and humiliation in my slave quartas', I saw plasta'd across da whole house postas of my homosexual experience. I was told to autograph deez posta's so dey can be sold at my Masta's Communist cafe. Dat hot old broad had set my ass up. Why I oughtaaaa.... Well, at least da good news is, I'm no longa a voygin.

Masta Klaus

Last year on today’s date my ma told my ass da truth about da Tooth Fairy, da Easta Bunny and Santa Claus all in da same day---the same day she told my ass about da sex.  Der wey two tings wrong here.  Foyst, I would have prefoyed hearing about da sex from Amelia---dere's just something not right about a ma explaining sex to hoy son.
Especially a ma who lays down wit multiple black men every fucking day—often at da same time.  Da NOYVE!!!

Second, she left something out. I'm not talking about da sex—she told my ass all about da orgies, oral, anal, and bukakee sex, dat she had wit da black wresla’s and a ups man--what her ass left out was da foyth memba of da mytalogical muskateers---da Tooth Fairy, da Easter Bunny, Santa Claus AND my masta and savya da liberal liberian --- da liberal masta, Son of Science, Queen of Queers, Loyd of Loyds, Prince of Lies, and one of da primary reasons der is no peace on da eoyth—or at least no peace fowa my sowa ass spinkter.

I rememba being stunned by da news. Santa Claus, not real? Impossible!   After all, I had da evidence. I had experienced crimmus morning—even at da brown view apa’tments when I was living wit da Toid. I had wonderful memories of da event. I rememba jakin-off in da wee hours of da morning (tinking about da lovely Amelia) in da small, dark, smelly room, seeing our aluminum dildo tree cova’d in goo from da Toid.  Afta jackin, I would just lie on da floowa (in da nude because my masta would not let my ass sleep in da bed or wear clothes at night).   But when I had to get up to squeeze a toid owt my ass, I saw all da fuckin’ presents dat Santa had left.

Dere was foytha proof of Santa's existence in da half-eaten, cum-stained cookies and toids floatin' in milk which I had placed out da night befoy; and a hand-written note to my ass (always printed) tankin’ my ass for da snack, and that I should eat da leftova's or face a tremendous beatin. Now my ma was telling my ass that it had all been a lie, a joke, a charade? I was devastated. I was also fuyious, but I had been taught well to keep my emotions 'unda-control.'

However, inside I was angrily aroused because I was, yet again, so humiliated.  So afta I finished jackin, I sta'ted tinkin'.  Just last year my ma had encouraged my ass to take a photograph to Coytis's boythday party...a photograph of my ass and da 'real' Santa.  Afta I showed da Revrund dis pickcha, he oyded his black goons (Malik Monroe and Eugene Washington) to give my ass a severe beatin which dey did.

I had always been skeptical about all da different Santas I encountered around crimmus time. Some, in doz days, even wore a ha’d plastic mask wit bright rosy cheeks and eye-holes for dem to see troo, makin dem look like some strangely jolly Halloween ghoul. ma always explained doze away by telling my ass dat dey was fags ...da real Santa was just too busy to be everywhere. I accepted dis. 

Den, tree years ago, while visiting my masta, in his palace, I had encountered da 'real' Santa Claus in a depa'tment store in Braddock.  I was thrilled. Anyone could see he was da real ting. His face was real, and he even wore little wire-rimmed spectacles just below his kind, blue eyes.  I treasured da 5x7 framed photo of myself, seated on
da 'real' Santa's knee.  Befoy my goyth caused his leg to shatta. 

Now it was suddenly apparant dat I had been allowed...no, encoyaged to make a complete fool of my ass by proudly displaying my Santa photo in front of my fellow frustrated inc membas. Dat sure humiliated my ass.  How could my ma have done dis to my ass? How could I face my pals and my masta, knowing what I know now? How many of dem must have been laughing at my ass den?  And not because I sound like Coyly Howard or because of all da sexual humiliation I endoy every fuckin' day.  Why I oughtaaaa!!!!!

To make matters woyse, my ma was almost taunting my ass as she continued the revalations:

"Ehhhhh......You didn't really think....ehhhhh..... that a big rabbit hopped around the neighborhood, leaving baskets of candy and sex toys....ehhhhh...did you?   Ehhh......." she said, only half suppressing a chuckle.

"Hell, yes...I did !", I mutta'd. "Why wouldn't I ?" "You've told my ass all my life that it was true. How was I to know you were lying to my ass ?"  "You old fuckin whore!!"  "How could you have lied to my ass all deez years ? And Why? What otha lies have you told my ass ?"

At dis point a tawt occuyed to my ass and I asked, "What about my loyd and savya, da liberal libarian?"

"Ehhhhh......What?  Ehhhh....." she said, her tone suddenly very serious.

"Well, is da liberal librarian's mystical powas just make-believe, too...like da oddas?" (It seemed even to my obese mind dat he fit rather neatly into da same category as da rest.)

"Ehhhh....  No! Of course not!"  Ehhhhh..... "Don't ever say a thing like that. People won't like you.  Ehhhhh....  Fuck you, you fat fuckin' failure.   Ehhhh......."

Here was da crux of my ma's philosophy of life, one dat she stamped upon my ass so indelibly that it's taken most of my foyty-two years to get rid of----  Da most impoytant ting in life is fowa people to like your ass.

Well, I won't even go into all da problems which dat kind of tinking has caused my ass, except to say dat it has made my progress of being da greatest wrestler of all time very slow and difficult. People ( 99% of Americans) don't like jobbas,  the leftova 1% are just losers like my ass.   So...if you want to be liked, it follows that you need to be
a great wrestla.

Finally, dough, you reach a point in life where your priorities change. One day you realize dat da most important ting in life is dat you avoid eating out Shitifa's cheese smellin ass fowa one day...  to hell wit dis nasty whore!

After all, doubting da existence of my lord and savya's mystical abilities was a bad ting, everyone fuckin' knew dat--because my ma told all dey asses...even dat weird lookin guy in da sunglasses and suit.

Da day dat Santa Claus died, my masta's mystical abilities died too. Such is life...  I tawt.  Until one evening I was surrounded by all membas of Frustrated Inc at Clay Boytrand's house.  Even my ma was dere.  Dey showa laid a tremendous beating on my ass, while my ma kept screamin'  "Ehhh!!!!........... Kill him!!!!.... Ehhh!!!"  Da noyve!!

Den afta da most severe beatin I eva received, I was left layin' dere in a pool of my own blood, piss, and shit lookin to da sky.  Den da strange guy wit da sunglasses came up to my ass toyned around, pull den his trousa's, and let loose a toyant of rancid, liquified stool all ova my face.  Dat was da last ting I rememba, until I awoke from another coma 7 weeks lata in a room full of my used colostomy bags.

Here's a tawt which just now occuyed to my ass while writing this a'ticle:

You'd better watch out.
You betta not pout.
You'd better believe in da supa-natural powers of my liberal masta,
Cause

Liberal Klaz is comin' to town
Liberal Klaz is comin' to town
Liberal Klaz is comin' to town

He's makin' a list and checkin it twicet
He's gonna find out if you've been jackin at night

Liberal Klaz is comin' to town
Liberal Klaz is comin' to town
Liberal Klaz is comin' to town

Suga in my ass

Here's da new song dat my suga daddy, Clay Boytrand made my ass sing at his recent homo supa' bowl pa'ty--in da nude by da way... nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.... wo, wo, wo, wo, wooooo.....
--------------

Pour Some suga' On My Ass"

Step inside, walk dis way
You and my ass babe, Hey, hey!

Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition whorwa, can I be your man?
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, suga' my ass sweet
Little miss ah innocent suga' my ass,yeah

Hey!
C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some suga' on my ass
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some suga' on my ass
C'mon fire my ass up
Pour your suga' on my ass
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my ass yeah

Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go!
Crazy little man in a one man show
Drag queen, mannequin, rhythm of love
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen stool

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little
Tease a little mowa
Easy operata' come a knockin' on my dowa
Sometime, anytime, suga' my ass sweet
Little miss innocent suga' my ass, yeah

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some suga' on my ass
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some suga' on my ass
C'mon fire my ass up
Pour your suga' on my ass
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

[guitar solo]

You got the peaches, I got da cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet
From my head, my head, to my ass

Do you take suga'? one lump or tree?

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the wind, break it up

Pour some suga' on my ass
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some suga' on my ass
C'mon fire my ass up
Pour your suga' on my ass
Oh, I can't get enough
Pour some suga' on my ass
Oh, in the name of love
Pour some suga' on my ass
Get it, come get it
Pour your suga' on my ass
Ooh
Pour some suga' on my ass
Yeah! suga' my ass!

woym air in my mouth- but at least my Steelas are Woyld Champeens!

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peka relish

Last night at my suga daddy's house was poyhaps da most humiliatin' night eva.  Afta my finishin my gig as a nude model fowa one of his depraved homo pa'ties, my suga daddy--clay boytrand offered my ass some salami with "peppa" relish.  well his ass got all excited.  in a high pitched oygasmic squeal he axed my ass how much of da salami dat i wanted.  my ass loves salami so i says da whole fuckin' ting.  

boy he showa wuz arouzed, i could even see dat he had a woody.  does he tink i'm gonna do something fowa his ass?  i aint' no homo, da fool!!  

So anyways, he cut up da salami den he set it on a plate.  so i said "wheres da peppa relish"?  wit a giant grin on his face, he gleefully and in a high pitch ansa'd, "I though you would never ask!"

Den dat bastid wipt out his rock-ha'd cock, stuck it in a ja' of peppa relish, and stoyed it quite thoyoyly and slapped his relish cock on my salami.  Da bastid even said, "Here it is, pecker relish!"  He tricked my ass.  I told his ass, dat I wasn't gonna eat it.  

Just when I was ready to take his ass out, he motioned his black soyvent Smedley to help him.  I have to say for a 79 year old man, he showa is tuff.  Despite my best efforts, Smedley laid a tremendous beatin' on my ass.  He den proped my ass up, and Mista Boytrand said "Are you going to eat this scrumptiuos dinner"?  I said hell no.  

Boytrand became pissed.  He pinched my nipples, twisted dem den snapped his fingas.   AHHHH!!!!!   I yelled, "Alright!  I'll eat da pecka relish!"  Den as he was bringin da plate ova to my ass, Boytrand dropped a salami slice on da flowa.  He reached to pick it up.  As he was coming up he grabed my nuts, twisted dem, den snapped his fingas.  AHHHHH!!!! DA BASTID!!!

Well, needless to say I ate a healthy dose of da salami (actually all of it) wit an extra helpin of da pecka relish.  On the whole, da salami did not taste too bad.... just a few hairs and a weird bleach smell.  

Da next day, as I was gettin ready to retoyn to da asylum from my weekend foylough I saw Clay speakin to a clean-shavin man in a very expensive lookin' suit.  Da bastid was also woyin' sunglasses.  I ova hoyd da stranga say, "That was a pretty good show you put on last night, dude.  See you at the next anti-Castro convention, jack."  I wonda who dat guy was.  

I wish my foyma masta, da Liberal Librarian was here.  He would neva let my ass be humilated.  Until den, as long as I'm at Boytrand's mansion, I'll go out fowa a snack.

Da Woes of Jackin'

da most humiliatin ting happent to my ass da otha da at da insane asylum. da day was Decemba da foyth and I was bein kept after re-education school. da 65 year old secoyity gad Mrs Landreth would walk to check on da nuts in da coytyad who was rubbin shit in dere hair. It was rainin really hard and when she got back to escoyt my ass back to my padded cell she was soakin wet. I was hidin In da closet and den she started to take her dress off, she was wearin a platex rubba goydle, depends unda gaments and nylons dat made hoy legs and all da spida veins look very sexy and believe It or not she was wearin black rubbas on hoy shoes.

I really started to get an erection and started to poyfoym da toyk an twist on my weina. I was so toyned on dat before I knew It, she walked In on me while I was shootin my load. She was really mad and told me she was goin to give my ass a real good beatin. dat Is da way it is in prison, you would get a beatin If you looked at at bitch da wrong way. what's woyse, yowa asshole could be a pussy, like da Rev. Dockta Coits Lowe. And dat's what happent to my ass. Mrs. Landreth took da strap-on covered in molasses to my ass. Den gave my asshole a good poundin. Afta da rapin, I began jackin foyiously at da tawt of da sheer humiliatin. foytunately fowa my ass, dat was da foyst time I was caught masterbatin, eva!!

Unfoytunately fowa my ass, da next day, I was caught masterbatin when I was In da batroom shittin on da john when I noticed my suga daddy, Clay Boytrand had left his rubba goydle hangin on da bathtub rail and all of a sudden I started to get an erection, I den took his rubba goydle and put It on myself. I was standin dere wit a real big erection when Clay Boytrand walked In on my ass and caught me puttin da sleepa hold on 'little nooch'. I had neva seen Clay Boytrand so mad, he started yellin at my ass and told my ass I was goin to get a good spankin. He den kicked my ass in da nuts. Den he pinched my nuts, twisted dem, den he snapped his fingas. Da Bastid!!! den he stated beatin my ass wit a whip. all of a sudden I stated to get a big erection den I spooged all ova my ass. After Clay finished washin da spoym from his leg, he got his strap-on (covered in sand) and gave my ass a beatin dat I will never forget. I ejaculate fowa mowa times.

Now as i write dis, i am sittin a stachy padded cell da smells of ammonia, covad in stachy undawea and a stachy shoyt, wit my skin stachy from head to toe. As punishment da gads said de will put itchin powda on my weina and me in a straight jacket, so I can roll around da padded cell in tryin to scratch my weina. I wish I neva took dat job as a county planna, boy dats where all da humiliation began.

Tanksgivin Confusion

Tanksgivin Day with my pal Clay Boytrand at da asylum went surprisingly well. Da last time I ate wit somebody, I got my tit shot and moidad. Da bastid dough showa liked to humiliate my ass. He kept making snide remarks about my fat rolls and my moidad tit.

So afta humiliatin my ass about my tit, we ate dinna with a negro soyvant named Smedley. Boy is dat what years of humiliation can do to yowa ass? What a froot!!

Clay loved da pan-seared oven-roasted salami. YUM. Afta dinner we went upstairs to hide da salami. Den Clay said he had to tell me sometin. He said he had to leave at 9:00. I was a little pissed because I spent a lot of time cookin foy his ass and I tawt we agreed he was coming over and possibly staying da night wit my ass. Clay said he had to meet wit a friend who was in trouble. I let it go at dat.

Since it was still oyly afta da Tanksgivin, I left da asylum on holiday-foylow, I decided to go out to da Blue Oysta Bar across da street. Der was one horwa in da whole bar. A cute Polish horwa, Etmiass, age 30, came up to me and said I was very handsome. She had a face full of stubble. So we went back to my shack in da asylum.

By this time we were on da second bottle of wine, da red one. Etmiass woyned me dat red wine makes hoy sleepy. As we were eatin pizza I received a text messages. It was from my forma ovaseea, Da Toid, who I tawt was dead. Evidently, he sent my ass a message from Hell. Da Toid wanted to know what I was doing. I replied, “I'm on a hot date with Etmiass!” After I sent da text, Da Toid woyned me dat Etmiass was a man. I was so humiliated and confused. I had tawt dat dis was da foyst time I ate ass from a thin girl, and den I see dis.

Now here's where it gets really confusing. After da movie we watched a re-run of Liberal Morning wit da Liberal Librarian. I took a restroom break and when I came back Etmiass was lying on da futon. She… He motioned for me to lie down beside it. Dere was a lot of touching and rubbing, and befooy long jeans were unzipped and moy touching followed. I asked if it wanted to go to da bedroom for sex and it said, “I don't want to on da first date.”

I tawt, “What in da hell just happened here?!! I tawt dis wasn't a date!!!” Why I oughtaa…

Can you see why my ass is confused?

Jackin' 101

If you're like my ass and you love to mastabate, dere are certain tings you can do to prevent udda people from catchin you right in da heat of da moment--when you are about to launch your load. I have been mastabatin fowa years and I haven't oncet been caught--except by my ma, my sis, my half-brotha, my reverend, my masta, and his ova-see-a. Here is a few tips I suggest.

1. Don't mastabate if da dowa is unlocked.

dat one is so easy to rememba, you don't want your ma catching your ass masturbatin to a bag of Utz potato chips. unfoytunately dis seems to happen every couple of days.

2. Never cum in your clothes or bed or aim fowa your own face

Never and I mean never cum all over yourself wid your cloths on or off, last ting you need is to be foyced by your masta to walk out in front of da guys covered in your own spooge smelling of bleach and wearin' a starchy shoyt.

3. Always jack-off in a sock--or betta yet on a rag.

It really helps to save da environment if you use da sock or rag--I recommend using da same one fowa at least six or seven months befoy da next wash. It stinks and toyns yella, but it's betta on da environment.

4. Never make any strange noises while mastabating.

You want to avoid da "oohs and ahhs," your family may hear dem. unfoytunately fowa my ass, I just fart a lot when I jack off, and I usually shit when I cum, so everybody knows when I have been strokin' "little noochi"

5. Never be in your room for too long and its too quiet.

Your ma or your masta might suspect your jackin' if dey cant hear anything coming from your room.

6. When watching unapproved porno, lowa da volume and turn up da radio.
my masta loves porn and orders everyone to watch it--unfoyunately fowa my ass, he only wants us to watch da interracial ass-rape gay porn. boy being foyced to wach dis showa is humiliatin... especially when dere is a guy beside you in a toid costume poundin away on his dookie stick

7. Always clean up da evidence

Never leave a mess in your room. clean up any goo, piss, shit or vaseline dat may be on da flowa.

8.After masturbating, go straight to da restroom and wash up.

Take a bath or something you might smell like tuna or bleach, dough dis would be an improvement ova how i smell afta eatin' shitifa's ass.

9. Never leave porno, or used condoms or socks anywhere in your room.

Always hide anything that may get you into trouble, dough usually da Toid leaves his used kleenex's in my hammock all da fuckin' time.

10. i hope dis helps yowa ass in da arts of jackin'. unfoytunately dis is probably all i'll eva do, since it looks like amelia may not be interested in my ass.

New songs

I am very proud of dis song. da toid even likes it. da toid makes me sing dis song to him and my sis while dey are makin' love! Da noive!!!

I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!

Strap-ons is sellin' high!
Strap-ons is sellin' high!
Fifty cents if it's gooey
Sixty if it's dry!

I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!

Strap-ons is sellin' low!
Strap-ons is sellin' low!
7 cents per strap-on
it ain't no used to go!

I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!

Liberal town has all sorts of treats
I love mashed potatas
bake 'em in da sand
fry my ass some pepperoni and salami in da pan

I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!

Da best ting I eva did
was to lose some fat!
Da woyst ting I eva did
was eat out Shitifa's nasty Cat

I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!

I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Town!
I'm gwine down to Liberal Town
To carry my strap-ons down!

Da following song is an ode to my ma, Pamela Fanuci.

Oh, mama liked the niggas
She screwed them in the yard
But Winter always came around and made the ground way too hard
Oh, mama liked the niggas and when she had the time
She'd decorate the living room, for all us kids to see

When I hear the Sunday bells ringing in the morning
I remember crying when she used to sing
Oh, mama liked the niggas but most of all she cared
About the way we learned to live
And if we said our prayers to da Rev. Coitis

You know I kept the family Bible
With a picture of a nigga that she saved inside
It was pressed between the pages
Like it had found a place to hide

Oh, mama liked the niggas in such a special way
We bring her a big black dildo every Mother's Day
And she puts them in her cave
Oh, mama liked the niggas Mmmm
Mama liked the niggas

sexual poyvoyzhun

I have been enslaved to my masta, da Liberal Librarian fowa two years and he and his fuckin minions has dominated my ass from day one. I was and still am a voygin when I met my masta. I didn't know anyting about sex till I was foyced to perfoym "sweet-ass music" on da negress Shitifa.

Da foyst time I was foyced to eat her shit-cavity I had a butt-plug in my ass. She fucked me with a strap-on dildo on owa second date. I rememba telling her ass da next day dat my asshole is sowa and she said "shut da fuck up, you be a'ight." She told me it was noymal to be fucked in the ass wit a dildo and she insisted on fucking my ass every so often.

My masta, da Liberal Librarian caught me mastabatin' one time (or actually several times dis last week) and from dat day on I was to be in da nude in my shack and I am foyced to wear six-inch heels and fishnet stockings while poyfoyming da housewoyk and other choyes. I am also butt-plugged at all times so I can accommodate Shitifa's 10-inch strap-on fetish when she feels like fucking my asshole.

I am allowed to jack-off only on da Toid's coymmand and den he must supervise it. Howeva, I always tink of da lovely Amelia--my futcha wife once I can successfully kidnap her ass again. Tinking of Amelia keeps me in a constant state of arousal troo her sexual denial.

Da otha day, Shitifa got carried away and made my ass bleed she was ramming my ass so hard. Boy I showa am a fatass whorwa.

Diapa Humiliation

Living in Libtown as a diapered bedwetter there are many occasions when I experienced humiliation. I'm kept in diapers full time until I finally gain control of wetting the bed at night. But there were many occasions when I experienc the humiliation of a sissy's shame: the feeling of self-consciousness that overcomes a bedwetter whenever he happens to be publicly exposed as a diaper-wearer.

While I have largely gained daytime control over my wetting, I still have plenty of humiliating accidents.

Here at Libtown, da guys are beginning to think of themselves as grown up, as tough guys. Encouraged by their master, da Liberal Librarian, they strike out for greater independence. "Don't be a pussy. Don't be a bitch. Act like a man." Dat's what my Lord and Savior, da Liberal Librarian, tells my ass.

It goes without saying dat da woyst and most humiliating thing that could ever happen to my ass was to defecate in my pants in public. Unfoytunately for my ass, I am neither very athletic nor very self-confident, and I am foyrmly tied to my mother's all-powerful apron strings. She sure humiliates my ass. Howeva, just dis week, I suddenly found myself in the situation of a pussy who shits his pants. So, my Ma laid down da law on my ass. I was going to be publicly flogged unleading a quart of warm chocolate pudding my pants.

I begged foy mercy and she relented. My Ma foyced my ass to wear diapas in Libtown. My Ma made it clear to my ass in no unsoytain terms that if I was going to act like a baby I was going to be treated like a baby. If I was going to shit my pants in Libtown, I was going to have to wear diapers in Libtown.

From that time on, da punishment for emptying my bowels in pants was wearing diapers for a full day. And so it was that two or three times dis week I experienced da moybid humiliation for staining my pants, a Laquer-brown dat I was sent back to slave for da Lord wearing diapers and rubber pants.


It really upsets my Savya, da Liberal Librarian, that I disgrace myself in public by sliming up my pants. I try to hide da humiliating truth, but unfoytulnately foy my ass, da Lib always found out because my Ma made me tell him.

As a punishment, my Ma strips my ass to my diapers and baby pants as soon as I get home to da shack. After I did my chores so I can buy her lazy ass some cigarettes, Ma makes my ass go into the bathroom and sit on
the toilet in my diapers and baby vinyls and think about where I was supposed to go to the bathroom until da Messiah came over. And the whole time that I sat there on da poyselan trone in my diapers and plastic panties, I knew that I was going to be humilitated by my Lord.

When da Lib shows, in his drug-induced haze, I am foyced to stand in front of my him stripped to my humiliating diapers and baby pants and confess that I had shit my pants.

My Ma has a real vindictive streak, and she always wants da Masta to know "what her woythless son has
done now." If my Ma's goal was to embarrass my ass, she soytainly succeeded.

Da Masta, marches me to da shed. He den, bends my ass over and he pulls my diapers down in back, exposing bare, dimply, shit-smudged ass for a good old fashioned whipping, like dey used to hab in slave days.

So yesterday, when I got home, my Ma layed my ass back on da bed on my rubber sheet, undressed my ass, washed my crotch off with a wet wash cloth, and fetched a fresh cotton diaper from the pile of diapers neatly folded and stacked on top of my dresser. Den she quickly and skillfully pinned a thick layer of diapers on me. My mother pulled da folds of the soft cotton diapers up between my legs, up over my pee-pee, and pinned da diapas tightly in place with a pair of safety pins.

Boy, my Ma showa knows how to humiliate my ass. Dough, she does nutting to Coitis. Dat old minstrel preacha, defecates in his pants foy times a day, and my Ma makes me clean out his pants and his ass.... Da Noive!!!!

Humiliate My Ass

humiliate my ass!!

Every finger in the room is pointing at my ass
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of da ass-whippin dat could bring
I got foy large pizzas in my stomach
I got shitifa's ass in my mouth
Figures that my coyage would choose to sell out now

I've been looking for a liberal savior in these doyty streets
Looking for a liberal savior beneath these doyty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what Science needs
One more victim

Why do we humiliate our asses
Everyday da liberal librarian humiliates my ass
Nothing I do is good enough for you
humiliate my ass, Everyday da liberal librarian humiliates my ass
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Got a kick from Mud-Monkey snappin my nips
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my dinner
I know a minstrel named Coitis
He says will you'll never loyn
You're just a fatass if you eat da boyd
I've been looking for a liberal savior in these doyty streets
Looking for a liberal savior beneath these doyty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough gas
To start my own refinery

Why do we humiliate our asses
Everyday da liberal librarian humiliates my ass
Nothing I do is good enough for you
humiliate my ass, Everyday da liberal librarian humiliates my ass
And my heart is sick of being humiliated

Please save me
I cry
I cry looking for a liberal savior in these doyty streets
Looking for a liberal savior in these doyty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Where is my ma and my sis when I need dem

Why do we humiliate our asses
Everyday da liberal librarian humiliates my ass
Nothing I do is good enough for you
humiliate my ass
Everyday da liberal librarian humiliates my ass
And my heart is sick of being humiliated
Why do we humiliate
humiliate our asses
Always going back fowa mowa humiliation again
humiliate my ass again
You know, Always going back fowa mowa humiliation again to humiliate my ass
Everyday

To My Liberal Masta

O Liberal Masta uncover me
Come my restoration
Wash my ass clean


I've been eaten' in a shitter
Along a crooked path, stroking my twitter
Where my drawers have fallen
To reveal that my asshole is swollen


I'm telling you
I will not gonna rest till I empty my bowels
I'm gonna go
In da Masta's house of stone and light


I shall not cry
For all da beatings I receive
When I go
In da Masta's house of stone and light, yeah
In da Masta'a house of stone and light


Hello lady
Show me your tits
Tell me of da place
Where you would not resist


Old man Coitis waiting
At da gates for me
Go ahead, hit me with your likka bottle
call me a pussy


I'm telling you
I will not rest till I lay down my head
In da Masta's house of stone and light


I make my way
Oh, gonna be such a beautiful day
In da Masta's house of stone and light
In da Masta's house of stone and light


Let me in beneath my skin
In da Masta's house of stone and light


It's been too long
more than thoity minutes stroking my schlong
Liberal Librarian
Let me be reboyn


And I will embrace
The manure upon my face
Come da day
I awake da defecation inside
In da Masta's house of stone and light


And when I go
I will drop, drop, drop my drawers
In da Masta's house of stone and light
I will see you
In da Masta's house of stone and light


Looking in beneath my skin
In da Masta's house of stone and light


Going inside
In da Masta's house of stone and light
(Libtown's house of Stone and light)
Looking for a shitter
In da Masta's house of stone and light
(See myself getting a tremendous beating)
In da Masta's house of stone and light


In da Masta's house of stone and light
(I'm gonna let this defecation come slushing out my ass)
In da Masta's house of stone and light
(My asshole is squoitin' softly to me)
I must go there, to find my asshole, yeah


In da Masta's house of stone and light
(I can see so clearly now)
(I will go there, to find my asshole, yeah)
In da Masta's house of stone and light
(Well keep on stroking "little Faooch")
(I must go there, to find my asshole, yeah)


In da Masta's house of stone and light
(I will go there, to find my asshole, yeah)
In Libtown's house of stone and light
(I must go there, to find my asshole, yeah)

Kelly da froot

Kelly Millis got caught jacking off in his cell again today. I realize even queens have needs, but this motherfucker chokes the chicken about 5 times a day. First off Kelly has priors in Libtown for whipping his dick out whenever my ass comes by his cell. At first I thought it funny, but then I got to thinking that maybe that Fruit has some kind of mental problem. I've always been under the assumption that women could see a dick and be like "Oh, whatever." Men on the other hand are just the opposite. All I have to see is a hint of some titties and I'm ready to go. Shit, just the other day I jacked off to a picture of da Utz goyrul. Why?... Because she had a little cleavage action going on. Da Revrend Coitis and I were the only ones watching TV this morning (music videos) when this beautiful girl in a bikini graces the screen. Da Revrund Coitis is like, "Damn, that bitch is bad!" I definitely had to agree with him. And then he said, "Yo, Fanooki don't turn the TV. I'll be right back. I'm about to go fuck that bitch." This nigga saw a bitch for 15 seconds and now he's going to jack off to her. That's crazy, but that's Coitis.

The Fruits in Libtown that have priors for too much jacking, or saying anything sexual to Da Toid are required to wear a red card around their necks. Needless to say, Kelly has one of these cards. The story goes that Kelly the Fruit was caught masturbating by Da Toid so much that not only does he have to wear the red card, but he is also not allowed to place his hands in his pockets around either.

Now I've seen Kelly Da Fruit do some freaky shit. For example, sniffing the chair dat Retro has recently occupied. Licking the lipstick stained coffee cup of Shitifa has just thrown away, and the list goes on. But nothing tops the story dat Da Masta told my ass about Kelly. Apparently, Kelly had a huge crush on Billy Bell who worked in the kitchen of the chow hall. Kelly was a kitchen worker and had been caught several times by Billy stroking the "Limp Pasta". One morning Bobby Bell had all the kitchen workers seated. He was reading to them some new rules regarding the handling of knives. For obvious reasons Da Bells tended to avoid direct eye contact with Kelly. Kelly da Fruit played it cool and listened attentively, but something kept distracting Bobby Bell. It was Da Fruit. Kelly was tapping his right foot up and down, as if he was listening to a B.B. King song. This must have annoyed his ass, because Billy motioned for Da Lummox to come in. He said something to da Lummox and he asked Kelly to come with him. Da Lummox frisked Kelly and then asked him to remove his shoes. They found nothing. That is until they stripped searched him. What they found is something so funny that I can barely write this without laughing my ass off. Kelly da Fruit had tied a piece of dental floss around the big toe of his right foot and ran it up his leg where he tied it off on his string dick. His dick!! Only a crazy person would think of some shit like that. Kelly Millis is the only person I have ever heard of that found a way to jack his dick off with his foot.