Constipation Humiliation

Da last few days have been the most humiliating eva!! Since my masta has been away campaigning for his beloved Hillary, I have been a prisona in my own slave quarters following the every whim of my oversee'a, Mud. He makes me dress up in lingerie and wear lipstick and wigs just so he can pleasure his ass sexually--all at the expense of my pride!! The noive of that damn monkey!!

Unfoitunately for my ass, the only thing Mud does not make me do is cook. He has cooked for both of our asses ever since my Lord and Savior, The Liberal Librarian (tm) went to my beloved Pennsylvania. I don't think Mud has very good hygiene. In fact after I see him play with his stool, I do not recall seeing Mud wash his hands. EVA!! So with these disgusting hands, he cooked some mash potatas and meat loaf. Eva since this dish, which by the way smelled like Shitifa's ass, I have been suffering from food poisoing the last few days.

At foist I had diarrea. Den I was constipated. Now I'm constipated and bloated. I asked Mud to give me a few bucks so I could see a Doctor. He just pinched my nipples, twisted them, then snapped his fingers. That bastid!! If only I was still a great wrestler like I used to be, then I could kick that Monkey's ass and impress the beautiful Amelia.

Interestingly enough while I was thinking of a way to kill Mud, the Master's spiritual advisor, the Revoind Coitis called and spoke to his damn monkey. They must have talked to each otha foy thoity minutes. Mud was grunting and I think I hoid Coitis on the phone grunting too. I think the two are related because they both understood exactly what each otha was saying. They soytenly look alike! Doying that convoysation, I prayed to the alter of my Lord, the Lib to make me a great wrestler again. I asked Him to help me lose weight and clear my constipation problem. Shoy enough after Mud hung up the phone, he started beating my ass severly. He kicked me in the nuts repeatedly until my face toined blue and then he gave me an atomic wedgie. Whyy I oughtaaa.... I was laid out on the ground, just as I came to I noticed the chandelier was moving, it was Mud swinging in it. He jumped off and gave my ass an atomic late-toim aboishun right on my hang-gut. He landed so hard I started puking. On top of that shit, Mud must have knocked something loose because about 14 lbs of liquified stool instantly spilled down my legs. After I was cleaning myself up in the bathroom and attempting to regain some dignity, I looked on the scale and noticed I was 20 lbs lighter. My prayer was ansa'd by my Master and my Lord. I can clearly see the difference. I look kind of like ThundaLipps in his prime dude. Instead of my sluggish 519 lbs, I am now an athletic 499 pounds. The Liberal Librarian (tm) has blessed my ass and I will be a great rassler again--also I am having regular bowel movements again--soon I will loose moy weight. I cant wait foy the next show, Mud is going to receive a most humilating defeat when I face his ass in the squared coikel. And then Amelia will love my ass and she will let me moida her tits! Wooo, woo, woo, woo......